THE WISDOM OF HOMER SIMPSON

Internet! Is that thing still around?

Rock stars ... is there anything they don't know?

Well, maybe if he had had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught 'im. ( about Jesus wearing sandals ).

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

Do I know what rhetorical means?